Dragonflies – SERIOUSLY?

Apparently, dragonflies play dead to avoid males. As we all should. I am either blessed or cursed with my wry sense of humor, laced (peppered?) with irony. That being said, most of you know I provide insight on relationships almost as much as I do mediumship or crime cases. The only reason this is important in this week’s blog post, is because of our friends, the fascinating dragonfly. Researcher Rassim Khelifa at the University of Zurich witnessed the female moorland hawker dragonflies literally crash-dive to the ground while being pursued by a male, presumably right after the male dragonfly told her how exotic she looked. I have an active mind so he may have asked her if she’d ever heard of Coldplay because he totally knows a guy who used to roadie for them. Later, Khelifa observed 27 out of 31 females plummeting and playing dead to avoid males, with 21 of these ploys successful. More importantly, who are these six creepy dragonflies who did not take playing dead as a no? While this is not a long term strategy for a successful relationship, or even meeting someone, it can give us a lighter view on meeting someone. The word “no” comes in many forms. I am even a big advocate of subconscious messaging. Perhaps woman can wear iridescent metallic eye makeup to forewarn men. I wish I knew this years ago. The next time I am at a bar and one of the creepy ones is hitting on my, I will do my part to do a dragonfly thing. Read...

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Why Is He Treating Me Badly?

You deserve better, but you stay and take it. You wonder when he is going to change. You see his wonderful qualities, too. I receive hundreds of calls every week. Face it, if you’re in a great relationship, you aren’t going to call me. I hear from men and women all over the world, even with being a Bay Area Psychic, because I can offer insights and advice about marriage, dating, and communication on a spiritual, emotional, psychic and personal level. It saddens me that one of the most-asked questions I receive is, “Why does he treat me like crap?” Let’s get something out of the way: I’m not describing physically abusive relationships. That’s not only treating someone “badly,” it’s also a felony. If you find yourself in a violent relationship leave. Period. The End. The relationships I’m discussing are about emotional abuse. Interactions and treatment that are most definitely damaging, but harder to explain why. These negative relationships keep you questioning and guessing in a never-a-dull-moment style, leaving you muttering to yourself, “It wasn’t always this way, was it?” No, it wasn’t always, and that’s what is so damaging. Your guy does treat you right sometimes. But now that you’re deeper into the relationship and feelings are out in the open, he’s changed. Maybe he isn’t available as often as he once was (without a genuine excuse), or perhaps he is emotionally distant without an explanation, or maybe he starts fights and arguments, withholds affection, has simply stopped being thoughtful, or has just disconnected from you. It leaves you asking yourself some ugly questions: “What did I do wrong? What’s wrong with me? What did I do to make him change?” You didn’t make him change. Without a weapon, no one has the power to make someone do anything they don’t want. He is choosing to act this way. And not only is he choosing it, you’re, likewise, allowing and enabling it. The harsh truth is that people can only treat you in ways you allow. You give permission and imbue people with the knowledge of how to treat you. So, if you’re settling for someone’s poor treatment or halfway efforts, you’re silently telling them, “Thank you. This is how I want you to treat me. I’m OK with this. More, please.” Often, the real culprit...

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Did You See Your Shadow?

Apparently, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow yesterday and darted right back into his hole. Six more weeks of winter. 2015 is here. Have you darted back in your hole? Or, have you taken it by storm and ventured forward into new worlds, realms and place for yourself? I hope it’s the latter. Adversity is challenging. It’s unpleasant. It’s magnified with the emotional alchemy of pain and suffering when circumstances out of your control occur, such as a job firing, auto accident, or death of a loved one. When adversity arrives, embracing the human experience fully, including all of its sorrows and joys is how to negotiate your way through it. Feeling the full force of the emotions of the moment gets you through it. It’s called processing your emotions, which is how you survive trauma in a healthy way. Sitting down and feeling the full force of the pain of loss, isn’t a widely accepted social practice.  But, that is exactly what you must do. Feel your pain. Don’t judge it, simply feel your suffering. And, be aware others may not be comfortable around you when you’re doing this. But, this is exactly how you embrace a loss. You’re not taught to be uncomfortable. That’s exactly what you must learn to be. Fine. You’re not comfortable. The next time you’re in a similar situation, you may not be comfortable, again. Admit it. Embrace it. It’s part of the human experience. There’s plenty of company in the I’m not comfortable club. You just don’t know who the other members are. Emotions such as helplessness, loss, fear, anger, and resentment are the metaphorical entry tickets into the I’m not comfortable club. Ironically, emotions such as joy, happiness, and gratitude may also gain you entry because they too, can render you uncomfortable. Learning how to feel them fully is the method to process them. Pushing them away prolongs their negative effects. Fee them, process, them, go away for another six months of winter. Crawl back in your hole if you need to. But, when you’re ready, you’ll come back stronger and better. In the process of healing, your thoughts can trap you. A constant spiral downwards often indicates being trapped by them. Being in the emotion of...

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The Universe Does Revolve Around You

Remember growing up as a young child, and behaving as the center of attention? Remember your parents chastising you for being flamboyant? “Who do you think you are? The Universe doesn’t revolve around you!” Your answer should have been, “Yes, it does, Mommy!” While there would have been dire penalties using that answer as a perspicacious child, you would have also been correct. The universe does revolve around you, the idea has been hammered out of you by parents, education and society. Now, it’s time to take back you power. As an adult, this is your new mantra, the Universe does revolve around me. In order for your life to be everything you desire it to be you have to unconditionally love yourself. You have to accept yourself as perfect, right now, today, as you are. And, you are.  When you do that, you can also open yourself to accept all others as the magnificent being of light they are, too. Let’s not misrepresent unconditional love. It’s not that silly acceptance of yourself no matter how badly you behave. The emotions you feel when you behave unjustly are there to adjust your life course back into that of a spiritual being of light when you get pulled into the human drama. Yet, you can love yourself for your human flaws, too. Unconditional love is that love where you understand you deserve to be respected by yourself for being alive and in the human experience. It means you’re perfect the way you are: height, weight, color, intelligence, and looks. You’re perfect because you are a magnificent being. Little, short, daily repetitive mantras will reinforce this fact as you move yourself through your day. “I’m perfect as I am,” is one that is very effective. On your commute to work, in the elevator, sitting at your desk, driving the kids around, or washing the dishes, by repeating this little mantra it will change your life. Make up your own. Open an inspirational book in the morning and read a paragraph or page. Keep the words of wisdom with you for the day. Write it down and carry a notecard to read at lunch with your mantra. It doesn’t matter, they change the way you view yourself...

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Attention is the Rarest Form of Generosity

Attention is the rarest form of generosity. ~Simone Weil Take a few moments and put yourself first. What?! You heard me. I’m not talking about the self-absorbed me-only mentality that pervades life. I’ m talking about the kind of self-love that is required for you to drop your blocks, your issues. Can you honestly say you’re in love with yourself? Wanting to be the first in line, desiring to get one of the limited new iphones by standing in lines for hours, is not what this is about. Its abut paying yourself enough attention to get centered, calm, and in sinc with your spirit. Do you stay calm amidst the storm of emotions that swirl around you? Are you constantly feeling like you have to explain yourself? Are you constantly defending yourself? If you are, you’re not in love with yourself. You’re not comfortable being you. When you can fall in love with yourself, when you can provide yourself the type of attention you need to offer yourself the understanding, care you need to feel whole, secure and loved, you can then begin to offer it to others. Attention is the rarest form of generosity and flattery. I have a friend that says, “Don’t buy me presents. Spend 2 hours of your time with me.” How lovely is that? I’ve taken Simone Weil’s philosophy and adjusted it for you to assist yourself first, then others afterward. You’re no good to anyone else unless you are centered and in love with yourself first and foremost. Weil’s life was marked by an exceptional compassion for the suffering of others. As early as the age of six, she refused to eat sugar after she heard that soldiers fighting in World War I had to go without. She died from tuberculosis during World War II, exacerbated by malnutrition after refusing to eat more than the minimal rations that she believed were available to soldiers at the time. This is not what you want to do. By taking a path of self-love it spreads then to the attention and love of others. Simone Weil’s messages and writings did not attract much attention until after her death. Don’t let that happen to you. You are having a human experience here, now, so...

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Do You Dream or Scheme?

Carol was in my office the other day, talking once again about the dress shop she dreamed of opening. Carol, a mythical name, comes once a month to talk about how unhappy she is, and more importantly, to dream. I asked her if she was dreaming or scheming about the shop. She laughed. Then sighed. “Dream… at the moment…” It was a dream because she hasn’t taken the trouble to work out any steps toward her goal. She’s been talking about it for over a year. I challenged her to stop dreaming. It was wasting her time. She disappeared for a month, then came back, and now we work together to turn her dream into a scheme. She’s creating a step-by-step plan to open her shop. Can you distinguish between your dreams and schemes? Dreams only come true if you turn them into schemes. Can you accomplish your schemes? Yes, you can with action. Thoughts begin the process, but if it all stays up in your head, they’ll stay their. Thoughts begin the process. The Universe provides opportunities to act on your thoughts, but you must take the action to make those opportunities real in the material world. The miracles are in the opportunities, the pay off is in your actions. Can you describe in detail what you imagine life will be like, minute to minute, day to day, once you have your dream partner, the business you want, the income you want, and landed the deal to write that bestseller? If not, you’re dreaming. Start scheming. Begin with thinking in detail about that future life now. Pretend you’ve achieved that goal you’ve been dreaming about for so long. What have you been imagining life would be like, every day, once these goals had been realized? Factor in the all-round sustainable life. Even when you’ve achieved your dreams, some aspects of life will still be there. Money and materialism won’t make you happier or healthier over and above a certain point. And that point isn’t that high. Then, write the history of how you got there. Actually write it down, backwards, step by step. When you do, you have created your blueprint, your roadmap to success, as it unfolded. Now, all you have to...

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Stopping Those Pesky Expectations

Who had a houseful of holiday guests this last week? Who almost went off like a pressure cooker? Who blew an emotional fuse? Did your expectations get met, deflated or exceeded? Are you emotionally exhausted? The holidays are supposed to be a fun, joyous series of occasions. They get ruined with baseless expectations. Expectations are set ideas about what the outcome of a situation should be. They are inaccurate more often than not, and holding on tightly to these ideas can cause a lot of anxiety and pain. One problem that arises from having rigid ideas of how things should turn out is that life very rarely follows the scripts you create in your head. Clinging to a belief that there is only one acceptable outcome not only sets you up for a great deal of potential disappointment, but creates tension and struggle. When you refuse to release your expectations of how things should be, you’re refusing to go with the flow of life. This often results in trying to control events, which is futile and exhausting. By holding too tightly to expectancy, or being too set on an exact outcome, you often influence your own behavior in ways that aren’t helpful or healthy. You may either push yourself to fulfill your goals in an obsessive or short-sighted manner, or you may become paralyzed by the fear that you’ll somehow mess up our desired outcome, and feel unable to take action at all. Start changing the painful scenario by unsetting your heart on something. Having a heart that is set on a goal implies a rigid feeling and approach. Like being set in your ways, there is very little space for flow, freedom, or spontaneity when your heart is set. There is nothing wrong with having goals and dreams. Life would become somewhat aimless without hopes and aspirations. What is potentially unhealthy though, is an obsession with the idea that there is only one very narrow path that can lead to your fulfillment, and that you know exactly, in the minutest detail, what that final destination must be like. Holding on to expectations can also cause you to close your mind to potentially fulfilling opportunities, simply because those opportunities do not follow the exact...

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The Miracle of You

There are two ways to live. You can live as if nothing is a miracle or you can live as if everything is a miracle. ~Albert Einstein It’s been easy to get caught up in the mundane aspects of life after anticipating the Holiday of this past week. Now that the guests are gone, it’s back to routine tasks. In doing so, you may fail to notice the miracles all around you. You may even fail to notice the biggest miracle of all, you. Finding the miracles to celebrate daily is a choice. You choose to see them. The key to finding miracles is simply to look. Deliberately and consciously take your attention off what’s wrong with the world or with your life, and look at what’s right. Decide you will look for the wonder in everything, rather than wondering why you feel so blah about life. Did you see it? The quiet of an early morning. The cat sleeping. The children eating breakfast. The rain outside. Your hand as you reached for a coffee mug. If you start thinking and behaving as if everything is a miracle, it becomes a miracle. And, life is easier, gentler, happier, and inspiring. Look at the world today from a fresh perspective. Everything is a miracle. You’re a miracle just because you’re alive. Have you noticed how you’re energy has changed since you’ve been reading this? It’s not a joke. You are your thoughts. Why not make them positive, uplifting and miraculous? You can, instantly. Your thoughts are like a tiny seed that can grow into a great big tree. The reason that many of you don’t reach your full potential, and fulfill your destiny is because you don’t let yourself. In this season of Holiday Festivities, I invite you to let yourself see the miracle in being you. All you need to do is to still your rational mind, and tune into your intuition. Time spent in quiet reflection can benefit every area of your life. Greater mental calm not only provides the opportunity to be inspired, it also improves well-being, productivity, relationships, and practically anything else you can think of. Wherever you find your inspiration, creating anything you want in your life always begins with...

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Shock Somebody Today: Do the Unexpected

In this season of gratitude, it’s time to shake up the energies around you. It’s time shock a few people with the unexpected gesture of gratitude. Gratitude is easy to express when it aimed at something we cherish or appreciate. It’s easy to be grateful for a beautiful rose bloom, its challenging to be grateful for a piece of garbage. Both, however, have their place in this world. Today, start by offering your significant other, the unexpected little gesture such as a hand on the shoulder or a touch of their ear. If you’ve been in conflict, shock them and tell them right now how you appreciate them. The conflict melts away with pure gratitude. What about that coworker that’s been undermining you? Walk by them today, smile warming, and tell them how much you appreciate them being on the team. Tell them you appreciate their effort and hard work. Shock ‘em. Move on to that friend of yours that turned gossip the last two months. Call her up, and tell her how much you have appreciated her for all she has brought you. Shock her. People show up in your life to highlight for you, your issues. Yes, even the contentious ones are there as cleverly disguised gifts from Spirit. They are here to act as mirrors for you as they assist in bubbling up your issues to the surface of your life. How precious is that? How wonderful that they have spiritually volunteered to be a catalyst for your growth. Be grateful for them. They are more valuable at times than those in your life you love. In Huna, there is a meditative process called Nalu. When performing Nalu, you concentrate on something and find the unique beauty in it. Usually, it’s an object of some sort, and one that you find visually attractive or beautiful. You sit and gaze at the object in new and deeper ways than you have previously, to pull out the inherent beauty in it unforeseen until now. It’s a deep, appreciative process. It becomes even more impactful when you gaze at a cigarette butt and pull out its inherent beauty, too. If you can successfully see the inherent beauty and spiritual messages in a piece of...

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How To Stay Grounded in a Crazy Metaphysical World

There’s drama in Andaraland. I was on the phone last night with a friend who is caught in the latest “who has the real Andaras?” drama as it unfolds. People made promises to keep information secret and blabbed like squealing piglets. There’s drama in Journeyland. The dust from rearranging my Shasta Journeys and creating a new Team to support the vision, continues to play out like a rerun of Dallas. Apparently J.R. feels spurned. There’s drama in Metaphysicaland. A colleague imploded in the worst way possible, affecting many people. The sadness is palpable. Who cares who has the most real Andaras? Who cares how many people enjoy Mt. Shasta? And yes, the metaphysical community needs a major overhaul. Some people, traditions, methods and ideas have to go. I was pondering all this to a heavy degree, and my role in it all, when a single, unplanned, random, act of kindness saved me. To paraphrase her writing: a friend of mine found herself at the grocery store, behind a young woman at the checkout. There were payment issues. The woman attempted to pay with a credit card and it was declined. She used a debit card, and it was declined. She switched to her food stamp card and, it was declined. The woman’s cart had simplest of staples such milk, bread, cereal for a child, and a few other very minimalistic things. It was obvious that the young woman was incredibly embarrassed, and also a bit desperate. The cashier was trying to be as helpful as possible, but there was not a lot she could do. In the moment, my friend made the decision to go ahead and pay for the woman’s groceries. It was an early Christmas present. The woman looked startled, and then turned away. When she turned back, she had tears running down her face. They hugged each other warmly. She thanked my friend, patted away her tears, and left the store. End of story? No. It was my friend’s turn to check out, and she had 30 cans of cat food for the feral cats that she feeds. There was a woman behind her, who spoke very little English. She immediately came forward and offered her card for my friend’s groceries....

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You Can Have Two Out of Three: A New Theory of the Universe

I was chatting with a friend of mine the other night, quite an astute fellow I enjoy immensely, name Mark Naea, or, more affectionately, not Mark. With some of the time we wax philosophical, but most of the time we laugh until our sides hurt. What’s so funny? The ironies of life. The Universe. Source. Mark shared his philosophy and rules on how the Universe works. I’m sharing with you. It’s positively brilliant. I haven’t been able to find the flaw in it as yet. There are three rules in the Universe. Here they are: Rule 1 You can have anything you want or desire. You can intend, and ask for it to come to you. You will get it but in one of three ways. It’s like ordering in the Universe’s fast food restaurant. Rule 2 There are three ingredients for manifestation. The ingredients are: Fast, Good, or Cheap. Rule 3 For any request or intention to the Universe, you can only pick two out of the three. The results are more than astonishing. If you want something Fast and Good, it’s not going to be Cheap. If you want something Fast and Cheap, it’s not going to be Good in quality. If you wanting something Good and Cheap, it’s not going to be Fast. Think about it. If you want that promotion at work quickly, ask the Universe. You’d better be prepared to work hard and long hours for an extended period of time. You’ll have to choose to direct extra hours towards your job and put other things on hold. You’ll get it Fast, before most others in the office, it will be Good, as it will have the pay raise you desire. But, it will come at the expense of your free time and fun. It’s not going to be Cheap. If you want a new sports car, but don’t want to pay the sticker price, ask the Universe, and then be prepared to wait. I have a friend who wanted a Ferrari for decades, but couldn’t afford the sticker price. When his uncle passed, much to his surprise, he inherited a classic Ferrari. It only took twenty two years. He wanted it Good and Cheap, but it didn’t come...

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What Do You Do If It Looks, Feel, Smells, and Tastes Like Its Real?

Answer: Look at it and say, “This isn’t real.” Anything in your life that is harsh, painful and full of suffering isn’t real. How, then do you explain the juxtaposition of joy and pain in your life? As radiant beings of light you arrive in this world, I believe, in your highest form, as a little infant. You‘re a bud of pure love, a form of Source fashioned in the light of unconditional love. As a matter of fact, you are love. You’re pure light and love. Then as you mature, you muck it up. No. Actually, the dark side of our human nature, what some call the shadow, gets you to do its bidding for it. It’s quite diabolically clever. Some call this separation. The two selves, one the human experience and two, the spirit, oppose each other in magnificent battles of light and dark or good and evil. Some call the darkness a disconnect from God. Whatever you call it, it’s a giant rupture of such proportions you may live a good part of your life in pain, traumatized by your human experience. And unconditional love, is not the sickly-sweet syrup from movies. It’s not a trumped-up smile and pretend that your happy vibe, either. It’s a solid knowing that you are loved by Source for even showing up here on this rock. It’s a knowing you are perfect at this moment in time, right now, warts, pimples, and all. If you are not that love you are separated from Source. You are separated from yourself. You are living a life of insane pain and suffering. Your natural state is that of happiness, love, and fulfillment. Your shadow is your mind and the negative stream of thoughts you put before yourself. Just one judgment of another human being, and you have lost yourself for a long time. Contrary to popular belief, unconditional love has no opposite. God, Source, the Divine, just encompasses it. Unconditional love is the highest vibration or frequency of energy. Energy is entropic. It pulls all other vibrations up to its frequency. How can the shadow exist then? Your mind creates it. Your mind can think anything it wants. And, it does. And, whatever you think you get in...

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