Retrosex: Finding Lost Love via The Web

Some claim you can’t find lost love.  Not true!   People are doing it more and more everyday through online social media. I am getting more and more clients calling me about reconnecting with someone they knew years – even decades – ago.

Have you recently found your high school sweetheart online?  Have you reconnected with a love from twenty years ago via a photo-based social network?  Thinking of rekindling a relationship lost years ago over a fantastic summer?

You are not alone. And, odds are in your favor, you can do it.  Many are doing so right online via photo sharing websites.  You know which ones they are.

It’s become such a common phenomenon it’s been termed “retrosex.” With the bursting through of online social and photo sharing sites, finding profiles and pages of lost loves from decades ago is surging at record rates.  Some of the sites are as popular with 40 and 50-somethings as they are with the younger crowds.

Not only is it easier to find lost loves, new types of friendships are springing up from reconnecting with them, as well. Social media has made it much easier to find lost friends and suddenly, new types of friendships are also happening.

It is a misconception that once love is lost it is gone forever. Some statistics claim one fifth of all new couples meet through the internet. Surprisingly, the statistics of divorce are lower for these couples.

Some have found it is like opening a time capsule. Whether it leads to a rekindled romance or new friendship, there is an exciting element of rediscovery of fond memories from the past at play. And, many times we surprisingly stumble onto someone we knew quite easily.

Here’s a familiar scenario I hear a lot about: maybe a coworker showed you how the online search function works. It is usually a feature that allows users to search for the names of people they know. You enter the name of the first boy you kissed. There he is! You send him a message. Then you wait. “Will he respond? Will he accept your friend request? Is it weird to contact an old summer-camp boyfriend?” you ask yourself repeatedly.  Then, he responds!

Most people don’t even know what inspires them to do something like this. They knew each other years ago. Their relationship felt like more than a one-night stand but it was definitely less than a real relationship. There was a history, a rapport. It was more than just hooking up.
Looking for final answers and some closure is also driving the desire to reconnect.  Fear of the unknown is all that keeps many from doing it.

It can be great fun to reconnect.  With some interaction, you can get some really great answers, even closure.  And when it is done online behind a screen and keyboard, it can feel safe in a weird way. Relax, have fun.  Most retrosexual experiences seem to spring from an intense, almost uncontrollable mixture of nostalgia and interest. You get a thrill out of finding an old girlfriend just to see if she still likes you. You’re curious to see what she looks like, and it’s easy to fantasize about alternative courses your life might have taken.  It’s the same type of feeling that compels people to attend high school reunions. In a way, these reconnections are the same thing.

A new age of connection is upon us and made easy online. Who are you looking for?

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