Why You Are To Blame

How To Realize Your Power by Realizing Your MistakesWhen is it time to fess up to your own actions and realize that maybe you truly are the one to blame?And, when can you safely assume that whatever happened truly didn’t have anything to do with you?Well, here are a few ways to tell the difference.1. Things That Are Out of Your ControlSometimes life happens. Bad things sometimes happen to good people and good things sometimes happen to bad people. We don’t have control over the actions, emotions or thoughts of others. This is really important when it comes to sickness or even death. I remember feeling guilty for the longest time after my mother passed away. Maybe I could have done something to prevent it? Maybe I could have spent more time with her, etc. It took me a long time to realize that there is nothing I could have done and that I had to move on and let go of the guilt. I cannot go back in time, but I can change my perception for the future.2. Relationships That Went BadIt doesn’t matter if it is a work relationship or a personal one. In any situation I would advise people to take a long hard look at their own actions and words and see their own part in any fight or dispute. It usually takes two to tango, and while there are times when we’re getting wronged by another, we did have a part in how we responded, acted and dealt with a situation. This is especially true if you find yourself in the same situation time and time again. There comes the point and time where we can no longer blame another and use the same excuses for the same behaviors, while keeping our credibility. If numerous people from different groups keep accusing you of the same stuff, it’s time to point the finger at yourself.3. The Law of AttractionNope, I’m not going into a New Age explanation of any spiritual law here. But to say it bluntly, if you keep attracting the same type into your life, namely the type that can’t accept you for who you are, you are the one who needs to shift. I know that this is not what people want to hear, but who we really are does shine and sends a very clear message that some may be totally unaware of. If you once again end up with a cheater or emotionally unavailable partner, if you yet again got screwed over or back-stabbed by a friend, it’s about time to take a look at what part of you draws people that hurt you and are utterly incapable of supporting your growth. Maybe you’re the one who doesn’t want to grow, and therefore you choose that which you know, even though it hurts you. If you’ve been dysfunctional for a long time, chances are most of your surroundings are also quite dysfunctional, because, as unfair as it seems to you, healthy people don’t hang with crazy ones, just like really smart people don’t hang out with idiots. This is what groups and cliques are all about!Growth hurts. This is the reason that plenty of people don’t grow and don’t really learn from their mistakes. As we start to shift in who we are, we will inadvertently alienate some of our old friends, because they cannot or will not grow with you. When people only know the broken you, they tend to not react too kindly to the new, healthy you. Misery loves company and as you learn to no longer be miserable, some people may literally sabotage your growth. See, the Law of Attraction works both ways. When you are a happy person in the midst of unhappy people, you’ll just hold up a mirror to them. With each step that you take in the right direction, you’ll just show them what a failure they are by sitting on their butts and doing nothing; even when they are completely unaware of it and hence, will never, ever admit it! After all, friends always argue that they just want you to be happy; but the truth is that very few actually mean it. Usually it’s more a “I want you to be happy, as long as you don’t threaten my status quo and don’t make me look like a failure.”