I am in one of the busiest times of the relationship year, as we are approaching Valentine’s Day.
Is he going to propose?
Will he buy me the jewelry I showed him?
Will she be happy with what I give her?
It’s not about what you give, get or don’t do with your significant other. Whether it’s a happy, enjoyable materialistic event that you really buy into (tongue-in-cheek) or simply an emotional immersion of feelings, its enjoyable when you manage your expectations.
The main reason I’m so busy during the weeks heading up to February 14th is that people are not managing their expectations. More importantly, they abdicate their responsibility for their own happiness to someone else based upon a gift they hope to receive. And, expectations are due to lack of communication between two people. No one knows just what you want and they can’t pretend to get close to creating the experience you fantasize about in your head.
Talk. Discuss. Speak your truth about how you envision the day and a perfect celebration for yourself. Most importantly, listen to your significant other’s view on the holiday, as well. Then, agree on the upcoming experience. Boring? No! It’s a significantly less painful potential experience. Actually, consider not gifting and spending a lovely evening together.
Manage what you expect on Valentine’s Day and you will have an exquisitely memorable experience.
Its easy to do. Set an intention to hold a positive space for a public day to display love for those you care about. Take a few quiet moments, close your eyes, and imagine the feelings of love and gratitude. Carry it around with you for the day. And, if you are alone, take the responsibility of showing appreciation of yourself to yourself. If you like material things, buy yourself a gift.
Next, think about how you can give a gift from your heart to someone. Make a card, write a note, sending a photo or text to a friend, grandmother, or cousin. Is there a broken relationship that you would like to mend? Offer someone your seat on the subway. Hold the door open for another. The emotion of love is not about gifts, flowers, candy, cards, or diamonds. Go out of your way to do something nice for someone else. The idea is that if you concentrate on the giving, you don’t get your hopes up so much about the getting.
Finally, remember that caring about others is not just a Valentine’s Day thing. Show you care 365 days a year. Having that as your focus may turn out to be a lot more rewarding than placing all your hopes and dreams on what happens on just that one day during the year!