Changing Your Relationship with a Dash of Wisdom
- When is he going to change?
- When will this become more stable?
- When is she going to get it?
The answers, in order are:
- (And the ever-so-succinct) Never
As long as you focus is on them, it can never change or get better. Even engaging in the dreaded “P” word, patience is not going to work as long as you sit around in a relationship and wait for them to change.The focus, in a solid and strong relationship, is always on you. The questions become:
- When am I going to change?
- When will I become more stable?
- When am I going to get it
You are more likely to change, and more quickly, than your partner. You are able to find a way to accept them, warts, and pimples, and all, faster and more effectively, than waiting and wishing for them to change.They are not going to change. You are.This is called wisdom. When you change, the dynamic of the relationship changes instantly. The conflict drops away.Ask yourself candidly, “Do I love them enough to have them in my life just as they are?” If the answer is yes, then begin to search for ways you can change yourself in order for that to happen. Find new ways of wise living where their words, actions and dynamics they bring to the relationship have no negative affect on you.In doing so, you dissolve the energy of frustration and resentment within you. You become calmer. Your partner will feel it. It’s a softer, kinder energy emanating from you. They bathe in it, too. Without a word, their demeanor changes. It changes for the better.The brilliance in this type of change is that it can happen without a word. It can happen instantly. It can happen with a little dash of wisdom.