See Your Shadow?

Apparently, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow yesterday and darted right back into his hole. Six more weeks of winter.

The New Year is here.

Have you darted back in your hole? Or, have you taken it by storm and ventured forward into new worlds, realms and place for yourself?

I hope it’s the latter.

Adversity is challenging. It’s unpleasant. It’s magnified with the emotional alchemy of pain and suffering when circumstances out of your control occur, such as a job firing, auto accident, or death of a loved one. When adversity arrives, embracing the human experience fully, including all of its sorrows and joys is how to negotiate your way through it. Feeling the full force of the emotions of the moment gets you through it. It’s called processing your emotions, which is how you survive trauma in a healthy way.

Sitting down and feeling the full force of the pain of loss, isn’t a widely accepted social practice.  But, that is exactly what you must do. Feel your pain. Don’t judge it, simply feel your suffering. And, be aware others may not be comfortable around you when you’re doing this. But, this is exactly how you embrace a loss.

You’re not taught to be uncomfortable. That’s exactly what you must learn to be.


You’re not comfortable.

The next time you’re in a similar situation, you may not be comfortable, again. Admit it. Embrace it. It’s part of the human experience. There’s plenty of company in the I’m not comfortable club. You just don’t know who the other members are.Emotions such as helplessness, loss, fear, anger, and resentment are the metaphorical entry tickets into the I’m not comfortable club. Ironically, emotions such as joy, happiness, and gratitude may also gain you entry because they too, can render you uncomfortable. Learning how to feel them fully is the method to process them. Pushing them away prolongs their negative effects.

Feed them, process, them, go away for another six months of winter. Crawl back in your hole if you need to. But, when you’re ready, you’ll come back stronger and better. In the process of healing, your thoughts can trap you. A constant spiral downwards often indicates being trapped by them. Being in the emotion of them is processing them. Your thoughts will restart you, when you’re ready to move forward. You’ll notice you’re ready to move forward and heal when you’re open to the possibility that things aren’t as bleak or black and white as they’ve originally seemed. Things can be interpreted in multiple ways, and once you process your pain and shock, you can think your way out of darkness.

In emotional darkness, the purest light of courage is summoned from the ashes of someone’s destruction. That someone is you. Your possibilities lie in finding the light of courage. You become the mythological Phoenix rising from the ashes of tragedy. The first act in order to resurrect the Phoenix is kindness. Your light of courage to move past adversity is enhanced when you balance your setbacks with true, heartfelt kindness.